Learning to Love

Blogging once again...

2010-07-01T14:39:00.001-07:00

So I am going to try this blogging thing again. I miss writing and feel the need to "download" some of what has been on my mind somewhere. So here goes!

Lately I have been thinking about how God's grace is sufficient for me. Sometimes I start feeling like it might not be sufficient but then when it comes down to it, it is! Amazing, really.

I've been learning that there seems to be people who isolate themselves and are very silent about the trials in their lives...and then there are those who reach out to people and are anything but silent about what is going on. I tend to be one of those reach out/anything but silent people. I think both responses to how we interact with others during times of trial have their pros and cons. Both have their extremes.

I have a few friends who turn into hermits, if you will, when going through a difficult time. For me, it can be frustrating (and they know it! ;) ) because I am also the type who wants to help when something is wrong. But I have started to learn that they need their space and they know I am available to talk if they need me. Most of the time they need their space to process and also to talk to the Lord about what is going on. Yet admittedly, they know they should work at reaching out to a friend or two in those difficult times in order to request more specific prayer and/or receive encouragement.

I, on the other hand, am the one who has a handful of friends who know lots about what is going on with me. Maybe not quite all of the details about the situation (s), but much of how I am feeling and what I am struggling with. The specific people who have been there for me in this way has changed from time to time but in each season, each group of people has been a huge blessing to me and I am so very thankful for them, their prayers, and encouragement. Not only do they encourage me, they also speak truth into my life and challenge me to rise above my circumstances. Much of the time, it is a good thing that I have these people in my life. However, at times I turn to them too quickly (like before turning to the Lord) or I expect too much from them ( like they should be able to make me feel better or should be there right when I need them to be). It is in those moments when they cannot be what I wish they could be for me that I am again reminded that God's grace is sufficient for me.

I am very aware this evening of God's unfailing love and His everlasting presence with His people. He is always with me, always available for me to talk to, always wanting me to turn to Him, and always the One who can comfort me, challenge me, and love me unconditionally. He understands me far greater than anyone else can...even more than I understand myself (and that brings great comfort!).

Informed Prayer Warriors and Thankfulness to God

2007-05-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Paul did not want the Corinthian believers to be uninformed about the hardships he and his companions were facing. He wanted them to know about the suffering, pressure, and even the despair his crew was feeling so that they would pray for them. He knew that a reason for the hardships, pressure, and feelings was that it would turn their eyes to God. They had to rely on God, who raises the dead, rather than on themselves. This in itself brought glory to God because when men are most satisfied in Him, He is most glorified. They were able to give thanks to God for His deliverance and the believers who had been informed about the circumstances were also able to give thanks to the Lord for His gracious favor on them "in answer to the prayers of many."

This is a reminder to me that it is more than okay to share about my hardships, pressures, and feelings with other believers in order to ask for prayer. Sometimes I neglect to do so because I feel selfish or I do not want the focus to be on me. I need to remember, however, that it is not about me. It is about the prayers of many being lifted to the Father and about Him working and being Himself and then us having reason to give thanks to God.

James 5:16- "...The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." If we really believe this, than why would we neglect asking the righteous people in our lives to pray for us and our circumstances?!?!

Just What I Need As Always

2007-05-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

"THE GRACIOUSNESS OF UNCERTAINTY by Oswald Chambers

'It doth not yet appear what we shall be.' 1 John 3:2

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says - 'Well, supposing I were in that condition . . .' We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in. Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God.

Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, 'Except ye become as little children.' Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

'Believe also in Me,' said Jesus, not - 'Believe certain things about Me.' Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him."

Balance

2007-03-06T09:08:00.000-08:00

I just found this in a Focus on the Family booklet and would like to share it with you.

Balance is when someone...
*senses a call on his life and says yes even when he feels unqualified.
*says no to something he's not called to, even though he might disappoint others.
*guards and protects her time with the Lord
*refuses to allow food to become an idol.
*gives himself the gift of exercising several times per week.
*refuses to succumb to a busied, harried lifestyle.
*gives herself (and her children) enough time to get out the door.
*pushes himself beyond what's comfortable for the purpose of growth.
*is teachable and flexible.
*practices self-control.

Who Am I?

2007-03-02T20:33:00.000-08:00

I am:

blessed
chosen
holy
blameless in God's sight
adopted
graced
redeemed
forgiven
marked with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit
God's possession
called
an heir

Ephesians 1

All Stressed Out

2007-02-27T20:53:00.000-08:00

Earlier this evening, I was all stressed out when thinking about the future/the possiblity of nursing school, missions, and all the details/how things are going to work out. I cried out, "Lord, I just don't know what to do!" Immediately Micah 6:8 came to mind.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Did you...yet?

2007-02-15T20:09:00.000-08:00

For the past few days I have been trying to get a hold of my sister to see what her flight number is for a trip our family is taking to visit one of my other sisters in San Diego. I emailed, sent a message via myspace, and called a few times. Finally, after calling again today I heard back from her and she told me the flight #. After we chatted for awhile and hung up, I realized that she'd only given me the flight # for her trip to San Diego and I wanted the returning # as well. {By the way, the reason I wanted the numbers is so that I can try to get on the same flight}

So I called her back to get the returning flight # and her seat #s too. When she answered, she asked if I had booked the flight yet and I told her no because I wanted to find out her returning flight # as well. Then since that time at about 4pm this afternoon, I have been extremely busy with getting ready for Life Community plus several other church-related things. I finally headed home at around 10:30 and saw that she had called. Then before I could call her back, the phone was ringing again and it was her again! She asked if I had booked the flight yet. I said, "No, not yet! I've been really busy this afternoon/evening...but I will book it eventually- no worries! Either we'll get on the same flight or we won't!"

Later, as I thought about the happenings of the day, I smiled as I thought of my sister and the "phone tag" we have played over the past few days. For some reason unknown to myself, the Lord gave me an application for the whole experience. I thought about how the Lord often tries to get our attention in order to help us. He works in our lives to "get a hold of us." He desires to hear back from us and when He does not hear from us in awhile, He wishes we'd contact Him. He longs for us to want to hear Him speak. Like my sister took her time getting back to me with in these recent happenings, we take our time getting back to God. We do not realize the importance of His "call" on our lives. We say, "Oh, I'll talk to Him later." Then when we finally do get in touch with Him, usually all we want is answers. We ask Him, "Did you...yet?" We wonder how He's gonna work things out. We fret and think that He'll miss the mark or mess things up in some way. He says to us, "I've been working all along. No worries! Things will work out the way they are meant to be." "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." "Trust me."

In the past few weeks, the Lord has been calling me away just to sit with Him and rest. It is difficult at times to steal away from friends and activities, but in those quiet moments when it is just God and me, I learn to trust Him. I see that He'll take care of things. He'll work it all out. His heart is good and I have nothing to worry about.

Lord, thank You for wanting me to want You. Increase my desire to know You and love You more. Give me a pure and holy passion for You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Teach the Women...

2007-02-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

Lately I have really been wanting to have an older woman for a mentor. I used to have several unofficial mentors and one "official" mentor when I lived in Texas-and have been missing that encouragement/teaching! I have also had the desire to "pour into" younger women on a more regular basis and in a more structured way than I currently am trying to do through my Life Community Group. Today I read in Titus 2: 3-5 how Paul encouraged Titus to teach the women believers. The verses say, "...teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Lord, help me to become more reverent in the way that I live. Help me not to be a slanderer in any way. If there is anything in my life that has become an idol, show me and help me to turn away from it and run towards You. Help me to always teach what is good and to be an example of Christ to those around me. Show me more about what these scriptures really mean. I want to glorify You with my life!

Messy yet Loveable

2007-02-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

As I walked out of the dentist office, the little boy I take care of (Toby) began to cough and then he threw up all over himself and the floor of the lobby. I called one of the dental assistants to let them know and she went to get some paper towels for me. My first reaction was to keep my distance from the little guy so I would not get a mess all over me. But as he stood there, he began to cry and eventually put his arms out as if to say "hug me!" It was not easy, but I ended up hugging him and even carrying him/his messy and smelly clothing out to the car as Zoe stayed close by. After dropping Zoe off at school, I began to think about what had just happened and began to think about how God continues to "hug" us and "carry" us even when we are stinky and messy with the imperfections of our lives. The Father sees me through the lens of Christ's sacrifice which paid the huge debt I owe because of my sin. Therefore, He loves me no matter what. His love for me is not dependent on my actions. So although each of us are messy in our own way, He loves us even still.

Lord, help me to love those who are "messy" in my life as you have loved messy me. Thank You for the ability through Christ to love that way.

Just What I Need

2007-02-11T20:46:00.001-08:00

There is a church about 5 minutes down the street from me that I have been curious about for some time. I had briefly met the pastor's wife and have heard many good things about the church. This morning I woke up at 11:04 am, decided to visit the church, quickly got ready, and made it over there only a little bit late- just in time for the sermon to begin. The young adults pastor (Josh) spoke about John 15. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Isn't it amazing how God does that? He knows exactly what we need and when we need it.
Josh's main point was that we can remain in Christ by obeying His commands which include loving each other as He has loved us. The specific passage did not say that we can remain in Christ by reading the Word or by praying. It said we remain in Him by obeying His command to love one another as He has loved us. Towards the end of the message, Josh gave us 3 practical ways we can love others. 1) providing for needs, 2) words of affirmation/encouragement, and 3) suffering for another. The third one really hit me and I definitely needed to hear what Josh said as he expanded on that. He said that one form of suffering for another is to forgive someone when they do not deserve that forgiveness. He talked about how it is tough to forgive someone who has hurt us. We tend to want our rights. We want to hold that grudge or that pride or that record of wrongs. I was reminded of my Savior's love for me and His forgiveness of my sin and failure- that I do not in any way deserve. Then I began to think about some long-time friends who have not been that great at keeping in touch w/ me since I moved here. In the past few weeks, I have really been seeking the Lord about my attitude towards them. I've known that I have unforgiveness towards them though they may not even be doing anything wrong intentionally. Today I feel like I once again forgave them and realized that I have the ability, through Christ, to love them no matter what. To have a loving, kind, sincere heart attitude towards them whether they ever return my phone calls and emails or not. Even if I never hear from them again, I can LOVE them in my heart. I can choose to think of them as Christ thinks of me. And you know what? I feel so FREE. The Lord knew I needed to hear that message today. I have no plans right now to change churches. I was just curious to see what was going on in that building and headed over. Thank goodness the Lord put that on my heart because I heard just what I needed.

John 15: 9-12 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."